Hey everyone, Blake here with another review for my beloved website The Virtual Reviewer. As you guys know, I love me some virtual reality. But I’m also a big fan of good ol’ fashioned real-world fun. Especially when it involves my wonderful family – my smokin’ hot wife Patty and my two rugrats John and Jenette.
So when we heard about this place called Austin’s Park, touting itself as an indoor AND outdoor 23-acre entertainment Mecca, you bet your bottom dollar we had to check it out. I mean, 23 ACRES? What can’t you fit in that much space? The kids were bouncing off the walls about it and I’ll admit, I was more than a little curious what surprises this Austin amusement park had in store.
First Impressions of Austin’s Park
Pulling up to Austin’s Park for the first time, I’ll be 100% honest – it didn’t look like much at first. Just a big warehousey-looking building plopped right off the side of the highway. But then when we went inside – HOLY MOLY. This place was GINORMOUS. Like freakin’ Disneyland huge.
The kids’ eyes nearly popped outta their heads. “They have GO-KARTS Daddy!” Jenette screamed. “And LASER TAG!” John shouted, making fake laser gun noises. Even my lovely wife Patty seemed impressed by the sheer size and scale of it all.
Arcade games and prize counters as far as the eye could see. Bowling lanes, bumper cars, mini-golf, rock climbing walls – you name it, Austin’s Park had it. As we explored every nook and cranny, the kids running around like maniacs, I kept wondering to myself – how does all this fit into one building?! Are the outside rides underground too?! It was nearly sensory overload. But a GOOD kind! We already knew coming here was gonna be a blast. Now it was just figuring out where to even start in this entertainment smörgåsbord!
The Activities
Alright, let me break down everything we did at this whopper of an amusement park so you get an idea of what it has in store entertainment-wise. First things first, we hit the “Unlimited Ride Wristband” ticket so we could go wild. Probably spent half the day just bouncing around ride-to-ride before we even did anything else!
The go-karts were an obvious must for my speed demon self. They’ve got three tracks catered to different age groups. I took the Rookie track with John which had some sweet sloped curves that really took you for a loop! Meanwhile, Jenette played it safe on the tyke track. No crashes for us thankfully! Although some other poor sap flipped their kart trying to catch air on a hill. Epic fail dude!
Laser tag was next and by far my kids’ favorite activity. Something about wearing that vest and blasting people away in a neon sci-fi maze really empowered them! Although I swear John was chasing ME around more than the other players little punk…Gotta watch my back with that one.
The park staff warned the rock climbing walls had a weight limit before I strapped in so I took a raincheck. But John scurried up that bad boy like Spider-Man! The kid’s gonna give Alex Honnold a run for his money. Of course, we HAD to do a round of good old-fashioned bowling too. Got ourselves a lane inside the hip-looking alley they had going. Lace-up shoes, disco lights, booming music, the works. I even snuck in a couple of cold ones from the bar. Don’t tell Patty 😉 Bumper cars and boats were classic amusement park fun. Nothing crazy, just some nice wet n’ wild crashing action.
The VB Virtual Reality rollercoaster though? TOTAL game changer. It legit felt like we were on an actual coaster, getting whipped upside down and in all directions. Patty yelped the whole time while the kids cackled maniacally. Guess VR still isn’t ready for primetime with the old lady. As expected we plowed through a bazillion arcade games and racked up enough tickets for the kids to each get prizes. Stuffed animals and bouncy balls for days baby! But I’ll be frank with ya’ll – my absolute FAVORITE part was the carousel. Yeah, call me a basic dad but seeing my daughter’s eyes illuminate while she waved from her spinning horse was PRICELESS. Forget Playstation and Oculus – THAT is the type of memory you take to the grave.
The Food
Can’t have an all-day excursion with kids in tow and not stuff your face with delicious eats am I right? Austin’s Park held it down on the food front with plenty of choice to store up that energy. At first, I thought we’d just do the standard pizza buffet ’cause it seemed quick and easy. But then I spotted this snazzy full-on restaurant and bar incorporated called Austin’sBar& Grill.
The menu looked LEGIT – we’re talking gourmet sandwiches, designer pizzas, and fresh salads. Even some Texas BBQ action in the mix! So as a family, we said screw it, let’s have ourselves a classy dinner tonight! We started with a Caprese Salad and some Cheesy garlic bread for appetizers. Jenette went the kiddie route with Mac n’ Cheesebut John ordered this monstrous cheese burger that was literally falling apart it was so juicy.
For Patty and I, she had the Balsamic Glazed Chicken while I devoured their colossal Brisket Sandwich. And yes, it was just as incredible as it looked. Every last bite! Normally at a spot like this, you expect Sysco frozen junk but everything here tasted homemade. Major props to their kitchen, for real. Did we have room for dessert after that feast? You tell me…it was Molten Lava Cake and NY Cheesecake all day baby!
Even paired it with some after-dinner cocktails from the bar menu. And I gotta say – sipping that Old Fashioned while soaking in the ambiance of laughing kids and neon carnival lights twinkling in the background? Pretty magical way to end our Austin’s Park experience. Although with the insane sugar high both kids were on after inhaling that cake, magic might not be the RIGHT word…
The Good
Alright, after a jam-packed adventure day with the fam at Austin’s Park, let’s break down the good, the bad, and the ugly, shall we? I’ll start with the positives because there was definitely a TON to go around.
First and foremost – this place just has an absolutely INSANE amount of activities and rides to choose from. Like seriously, it’s mind-boggling everything they packed into that warehouse. So if variety is the spice of life this joint has got it in spades. Within their 23 acres (still can’t believe that massive number) everyone in the family is GUARANTEED to find more than enough entertainment. Young, old, thrill-seekers, take-it-easy types – they have it all covered.
This leads me to positivity number two – Austin’s Park accommodates ALL ages masterfully well. The little kids can stick to their tame tot tracks with ZERO fear of bigger kids barreling into them. Meanwhile, us bigger kids (eh hem adults) can go wild on the more intense rides knowing tiny toddlers won’t wander in unprepared. Everyone mingles together in the common areas like bowling, arcades, etc. But the segregated experiences based on age/size are really intelligent from a safety and enjoyment perspective. Major parenting points in their corner!
The final thumbs up is for their new Austin’s Bar & Grill restaurant. For a facility catering heavily to young children and families, this was a pleasant surprise. The gourmet array of food selections impressed my discerning palate, that’s for sure! Comfort food classics with a modern twist – what’s not to love? So having this carefully crafted culinary option in your back pocket makes the day that much more well-rounded.
The Bad
Of course, it’s not ALL rainbows and rollercoasters now, is it? What’s that old saying? When something seems too good to be true…yeah you know the rest. As phenomenal of a kid-topia as Austin’s Park appears on the surface, it definitely comes with a share of negatives hiding underneath some of that magic pixie dust.
For me, gripe numero uno is the PRICING. Sticker shock city folks! Just their standard entry/wristband fee clocks in at over forty clams a pop per person. Tack on bowling, arcade games, food, etc. and you’re talking a small fortune outlay. I mean having access to unlimited everything does soften the blow a tad. But they really nail you if you go the pay-as-you-play route instead. Sure they offer various group packages and budget deals to offset costs. However, visiting Austin’s Park as a regular ole nuclear family comes with one heavy admission fee no doubt
And that leads me seamlessly into the negative takeaway number two – nickel and diming. On top of shelling out hundreds just to walk in the door, they find subtle ways to siphon even more dough outta your wallet. Little stuff like charging extra for the life jackets on bumper boats. Or locking away basic indoor mini golf putters unless you cough up six bucks per person to rent them. Heaven forbid your toddler wants to play one round of Skee Ball for fifty tickets. Better take out a small loan! Plus limiting arcade credits despite having paid full admission? Weak sauce.
Lastly, and arguably Austin’s Park’s most tragic flaw – wait times. With endless hoards of frenzied families chomping at the bit to experience every activity, lines got looooooong in a hurry. We literally waited 40 minutes just to play one quick laser tag match! Not exaggerating – I timed it. So really dialing in crowd control and infrastructure to alleviate that definite buzzkill is gonna be key moving forward.
The Ugly
Alright, let’s round out this tell-all exposé with the unsightly blemishes of Austin’s Park even this rosy reviewer can’t polish into positives! I’ll start with the gaming offerings. Arcade-wise they had rows upon rows of claw machines and ticket redemption doo-dads to keep kids hypnotized for days on end. But what about us big kids who wanna get our old-school Donkey Kong on? Where were the classic stand-up arcade cabinets? Mortal Kombat machine? Even a pinball table or two? C’mon, throw the OG gamers a bone! Have some respect for your roots. Because no matter how flashy and high-tech the VR technology of today gets, you can’t replace the magic feeling of slapping buttons on a vintage arcade cab. Not to sound like the miserable old man yelling at kids to get off his lawn here! Just woulda have been nice to see some retro love is all.
Shifting gears, another ugly look for Austin’s Park came from subpar customer service. With chaotic environments like this, stellar staff support is CRUCIAL. But these poor kids were strewn so thin trying to handle every nitpicky issue under the sun. Hard to blame em given the sheer scale they’re dealing with! However at peak hours when crap hits the fan, having zero guidance to navigate the madness added unneeded stress for us patrons. You’d ask where XYZ was or how something worked and it felt like talking to ghosts floating by not listening. So severely understaffing your front lines to rake in max profits ain’t cute guys.
Finally, and this last one really grinds my gears – NO RE-ENTRY privileges! They actually force you to pay again just to go grab something from your car in the lot! Talk about merciless money grabs – the house always wins! Look, I get it’s a business designed to suck literal dollars out of your wallet at every opportunity. But some slight customer courtesy can go a long way too.
Conclusion
So after joining Blake and the Howse family to experience Austin’s Park secondhand, what’s the final verdict? Well, I’d be lying if I said we didn’t have an absolute BLAST during our visit. A screaming, laughing, pizza-stuffed blast! Cause when it comes to packing entertainment options tighter than a clown car, very few places can compete with this Texas-sized theme park and arcade hybrid.
The variety of activities ALONE was worth the price of admission in my eyes. Rides, games, bowling, rock climbing, bumper cars, two mini golf courses, GO-KARTS…what more could your adrenaline-addicted family ask for under one roof? Plus having that upscale Bar & Grill restaurant on hand to refuel our tanks without even leaving the park? Chef’s kiss maestro. But therein lies the rub – “price of admission”. At the end of the day, they absolutely 100% take full advantage of locking you inside those 23 acres all day to slowly drain your bank account. And strategically they limit other food/bev choices INSIDE to funnel you towards their high markup restaurant…diabolical!
So annoyance with the exceptionally steep costs and barrage of micro-charges definitely dampened my smile at times. As did losing precious hours of playtime stuck waiting in lines longer than the Great Wall of China. But I suppose that comes part and parcel when containing THAT many stimuli in one crowded location. Overall despite a few loud belly aches about fat fees and wasting time in queues, we enjoyed a world-class family fun day that won’t soon be forgotten.
Arcade tickets have been redeemed, stuffed animals won, virtual reality coasters ridden, and even my wife conquered her fear of heights scaling that rock wall! So I’d absolutely recommend Austin’s Park for anyone hunting rowdy amusement near Austin with energy (and wallets) to burn.